If you've never been to my blog before, I typically use this as a vehicle to express my gratitude for various things. I still intend to do that but for the next 40 days (well, 39 technically), I will be writing about my personal 40 days program.
A little back story: 40 Days to Personal Revolution is a book by Baron Baptiste that we at North Shore Yoga use in our 40 day program that we've done a few times since we've been in existence. I did the first one and it really did wonders for me on a number of levels. It helped me gain confidence and strength as well as helped me lose some weight and gain energy. In our program at the studio we ask that students meditate twice a day, practice in the studio 4-5 days a week and at home 1-2 days a week, taking one day to rest. We also ask that students complete the excavation questions in Baron's book and follow the dietary suggestions. They are expected to keep a log of all of this to track their progress.
I decided to do a personal 40 days yesterday for a number of reasons. Although I am probably happier and more confident now than I have ever been in my life, I still have room for improvement and lately I've felt a little lost and anxious, which makes me yearn for something to quiet that chaos in my mind. It also happens that yesterday was exactly 40 days before Christmas Eve, which to me is a powerful symbol. In our 40 day program and, thus, my personal 40 days the goal is to change your life in some way, small or large; some sort of re-birth. Christmas, of course, honors and celebrates the birth of Jesus, the Christian savior, who came to Earth to save humanity, allowing us the opportunity to be washed clean and reborn. It's powerful symbolically, and for me, as a person who does not consider herself very religious, gives me a spiritual connection to the holiday beyond what I usually gain from it.
So, over the course of the next 40 Days, I hope to find myself changed. Maybe it will be so minute that I will be the only person who sees it, but it's a way to nurture myself anyway, so that's ok. I've decided, however, to share this 40 days with those of you who choose to read about it because: a. It holds me accountable. and b. It gives me an outlet to encourage other people and express my gratitude for the people and experiences in my life that aid in the nurturing of my spirit through this "journey" (Mom, that was for you. winkwink).
Anyway, I guess , in the interest of keeping myself accountable, I will tell you that yesterday I did not do the two five minute meditations, however, I find more clarity and peace in a yoga class (meditation through movement, dontcha know) than I do sitting quietly attempting to meditate. So, for yesterday and today, I am going to count my practice as my meditations. I took Sara's 7pm Power class last night after a foray into Trapeze and Aerial Hammock left me feeling like I was going to totally collapse and it was brilliant. Matt Fields-Johnson assists that class and he really loved on me and just made me feel yummy and lengthened and I am so grateful to both Matt and Sara for bringing my Monday to such a beautiful close.
Tonight I took Sara's 6pm Power class, despite the fact that I spent all day nursing yucky trapeze bruises and arms so sore I could barely lift them above shoulder height. I had almost let myself stay home and nap instead of go to class because of soreness and also because I had a falling out with a friend that came to a head this afternoon and made me feel incredibly sad and angry. But, as I sat on my bed sulking, I thought about how much joy yoga brings me and I popped up, threw on the nearest pair of stretchy pants and headed out the door and THANK GOODNESS I did, because I feel so much better! My muscles feel a little bit less sore and my head feels a little more clear and my heart feels so much more open. And, like I said, I get such a beautiful meditation from my practice. In that hour and fifteen minutes, I managed to stop holding anger in my heart for my former friend and sent him love and then... I let him go. I'm not angry with him anymore. I'm still fighting a little bit of hurt, but I am generally ok with letting him go with love. If he someday decides that he needs and wants me back in his life, I will welcome him with open arms, but until then I will be content to nourish my relationships with all of the other people in my life that I am lucky enough to love.
And, once again, thanks to Sara for a beautiful close to my evening. My soul has been fed.
Two days almost down, 38 to go!! Bring it on!!
I love you all and am so grateful for your taking the time to read.
Love love love,