I've had a particularly unhappy string of days recently, for whatever reason, and I've been really struggling to feel at home in my own life. But, this morning, I woke up and I headed to yoga, as I have the last two mornings, but something was different. I had a headache and wasn't sure I was going to go but I was already up and dressed and my head said "go," so I did.
I got to class and there were 16 people - in a 6am class! Something felt alive in this dark, rainy morning. Something immediately spoke to me. So, I practiced, as I always do, and as we began in child's pose, I lifted my heart up and prayed for God to grant me peace. That's right, I was praying on my mat. And as we began to practice, the rotten bits of my discouraged heart started to melt away and my thoughts began to drift off and in that hour, I began to feel... peace. Just like I had asked. It was amazing.
As we came into Savasana, I let my body sink into the mat and I felt my heart sink into my chest, nestling in the joy and peace of this morning, and the collective energy of the people in the room. It was an incredible feeling, knowing that I had given myself this gift, simply by getting up, getting on my mat, and letting go of all control. In yoga, we call this relinquishing control Ishvara Pranidhana or "devotion to a higher power," and it's an integral part of the practice for me these days. It gives me the freedom to let go and to do exactly what it is that I need to do.
I am so grateful for this morning and for Kathryn and for the other students in that class and for myself; for getting up, for believing, for opening my heart and for giving up control. I. am. so. grateful.
And I hope that joy and peace that I felt this morning extends to all of you. Love love love and light. Happy Tuesday.
I love you all.