Friday, August 7, 2009

Things I have learned on my summer vacation...

Greetings again from beautiful Destin, Florida. I am currently waiting for my DIY highlights to set and am avoiding the out of doors for fear of the pointing and laughing that regrettably must ensue immediately upon viewing this monstrous deal sitting atop my head. Therefore, I am blogging. It felt like an appropriate time anyway, as this is our last night here. It's a good way to reflect on a trip abroad (and by "abroad" I of course mean more than 50 miles from my house).

I have learned a few things about myself on this journey to my homeland (or, you know, Gidget's) and I felt that it would be beneficial for all of you out there in blog-land to learn from my vast wisdom. I am sure you are thanking me as we speak. You're welcome.

#1. DIY highlights hurt like a bitch. It sounds like a great idea in theory, but in actual practice you will begin to wish you were doing something way more fun... like cutting off your hand with a rusty hacksaw.
#2. I will never understand how some people (like my mom's friend and one of our tripmates, Debbie) can stay out on the beach from 930 in the morning until sunset. I mean, I love the beach, I love to swim, I love having a rockin' awesome tan, but I have never been fond of soaking in a puddle of my own sweat. Some people are born with a high tolerance for yuck. I am not one of them.
#3. DIY HIGHLIGHT UPDATE: I look just like Destin Barbie. Only, you know, with smaller boobs and a larger ass.
#4. If your younger brother accompanies you on any sort of vacay, be prepared to constantly say "Shut up" "no YOU are" "No I will NOT give you any money" etc. Otherwise you will be more prone to beating yourself about the head with something heavy and blunt just to get the sound out.
#5. Yeah, so parting your hair at the beach is a bad plan. Part = exposed skin = most painful sunburn EVER. (Plus add #1 to this scenario and you are totally effed.)
#6. If there are cute frisbee throwing boys on the beach, do not forget the terrible tan lines on your stomach. Put on a shirt while you gawk in a not so obvious fashion (read: with your mouth hanging open like a cat stalking a bird bath). Just a rule of thumb.
#7. Overeating at the beach does not make you look sexier in a bikini. But guacamole is tasty.
#8. Chances are, if your skin is burning... your skin is burning. Put on more sunscreen, moron. Not that I would know.
#9. Reading a book with a dude dressed like Jesus on the cover gets you a lot of funny looks. I'm not sayin'. I'm just sayin'.

Well, I'm tired. Perhaps there will be more to come but for now, I need some fried pickles.

Have a lovely evening. You people are fab!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Welcome to the Beach!!!

Well, hello.
I am currently sitting on the patio of our condo overlooking the pool/beach. I love it. It's magical here. The water is freakin' beautiful and the condo is so nice. I love it here. Also, I have only wanted to kill my brother half a million times so far, which is better than wanting to kill him a whole million times so I think that is progress. The Twinkies are here and are so fun. Pam's going to try to help me highlight my hair (and put a pink streak in)! Also, we are going to have gourmet Mexican tonight and that makes my heart happy since I was really sick yesterday and am only now feeling not nauseous. SWEET!!! Guacamole, here I come!

Anyway, just a little update.
I love you,