A happy weekend amidst the chaos...

Hello, loyal friends and readers! Happy Sunday (almost Monday)!

I cannot sleep despite being exhausted, so I was laying awake thinking about my weekend and feeling so grateful! Despite a few unpleasant interactions, I had a really wonderful weekend!

Friday night, Moon Slew played a party for Hill Craddock at the Chattanooga Nature center, which was super fun, as it was a beautiful night and singing is always fun! Plus, Jim and Rhonda were there, and they are some of my very favorite people! Also, I am counting my blessings because as I was leaving the Nature Center a deer ran out in front of my car and I stopped short and managed to not hit him. I am SO incredibly thankful for that and was also in awe of how sort of majestic the sight of the deer was. I don't know that I've ever been that close to a deer before. It was beautiful.

Saturday was a lovely day. I spent the afternoon with BJ up on Lookout Mountain. We went to Rock City so that we could be tourists, and then we spent some time out on Sunset Rock singing and just being. It was really amazing because it was such a beautiful day and that is my favorite point in all of Chattanooga and BJ is such an amazing musician and sweet soul. It was really a great day. Then, I got to go and meet my Katie-did and her Gordon at Hair of the Dog where we got to sit on the patio and enjoy the Spring Equinox air. :) It was lovely. They are some of my favorite people and I love when they are in town. They are going to be married in June and I am so excited for them and feel all the while very afraid that having married friends means I am officially a grown-up. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I am grateful to have friends like them, married or not! :p

After that, I headed to the Mudpie where I got to chat with Mike and Gail for a bit. I know I have mentioned them before, but I really can't stress enough how much I love them. They are two of the most wonderfully kind, generous, fun people you will ever meet and I am so lucky they have sort of "adopted" me. Gail has become my confidant and champion and I love her so much for that!! I am grateful, grateful, grateful for Gail and Mike!

Today was perfectly nice as well, even though one might not guess it. I spent most of the day waiting tables at PF Chang's. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder and I think that is certainly the case for me with the Chang Bang. I love the people I work with there and I had a relatively easy shift where I walked away with a not-too-shabby little cash roll. I am very lucky and grateful to have stayed on such good terms with Chang's that they let me pick-up when I need to. This is officially the 5th year I have worked for them and I am happy to be there!

After that, I had dinner at the Terminal with Butch, who has a tendency to be annoyingly right about a lot of things. I give him a hard time, but I genuinely love him and am grateful to be his friend. He has stood by me and been on my side and listened to my trials and tribulations and been very patient and supportive for many months now. I may get annoyed with him periodically (read: every day. wink wink) but for the most part I am totally glad to have him in my life.

Finally, I had play rehearsal tonight, which is like going home. The CTC was the first place in Chattanooga that I ever felt like I belonged. It is where I feel comfortable and safe and whole. I love every moment I spend there and am so grateful to be in a show with such an amazing and kind and funny group of people. I am also blessed to be working with Br. Ron again, who inspires me every day to look beyond the obvious and reach out to those who need love and support and encouragement. I don't know of any other person who inspires me more. And finally, I love Mitchell McCain. He has been nothing but a source of love and fun and friendship for me since we met and I just love him more and more by the minute. He is a prominent member of my Chattanooga family and getting to see him night after night in rehearsal is one of the best parts of being involved in this show!!

Anyway, long story longer, I am so grateful to know all the people I know and love all the people I love!! I love you all!! Have a happy Monday!!!

xoxo,

Hayley

Struggling

Today, my gratitude has been a bit of a struggle. I feel extremely conflicted about many of the aspects of my life today. I don't quite know where to go or what to do or how to feel or who to be. It's extremely frustrating and I spent my drive from work to home today in tears because I just feel totally lost. But, I am thankful for those quiet moments in my car and the tears because they give me a chance to release all that is bound up inside me and to just rail at the world without the world railing back.

I am also seriously missing my former Nashville life lately, which is a huge part of my state of conflict I think. I just need to be with my family and my friends at home sometimes and as I become a person who is not moving forward but is growing into this one place, it becomes increasingly more difficult to go home. But, again, I am thankful to have "families" in Chattanooga who love me and who I so love, who give me hugs and tell me I'm being crazy or awesome or stupid or whatever. I am also lucky to have a home in Nashville and a life in Chattanooga. I was reminded yesterday that "home" for some does not exist, so I am incredibly grateful to have a home at all. It's a blessing that we often take for granted.

Anyway, this blog was a little less happy than my usual tomes but I just needed to release some of that frustration and sadness and remind myself of all the things I have to be grateful for!

I love you all!

xoxo

Hayley

Crash, bang, boom!

Well, this is going to start out as a rant, but there IS gratitude involved, so bear with me. Yesterday, I woke up and left my apartment to go to work, only to find that some ass-hat had hit a car which then hit my car in the night. I knew this because the car was still in contact with my car when I found it. Great.

There's more story to tell, but I won't continue. Suffice it to say that we found the ass-hat who hit us and they will now be paying out the nose to fix two cars and is slapped with a citation for leaving the scene of an accident. So, she can suck it.

So, anyway, back to gratitude. I was reminded yesterday that I am very fortunate in this situation. I got home at 2am. Had I been much later, I might have been in the car when she hit it... on the road... or had circumstances been different she may have hit someone else (while she was undoubtedly drunk). I am grateful that my car isn't totaled. I am grateful that she didn't hurt anyone.

I am also so grateful for the people in my life. I've had so many people call or give me hugs or just generally give me love for my icky day and I'm just so proud/happy/lucky to have them in my life. I love you all.

xoxo,

Hayley