Friday, December 18, 2009

I am who I am

Today I am thankful that I am me.

Does that sound conceited? Maybe so, but in the spirit of svadyaya (self-study) I have been doing a lot of looking inward in the last several months and although I see a lot of room for improvement, I am very happy with who I am.

Lately I've sort of allowed myself to be bogged down by the silliness of "Why doesn't he like me?" "Why doesn't she want to be my friend?" "What does she have that I don't." It's all useless questioning. It doesn't change anything. I don't benefit from the answers in any way. Because, logically, if I got the answers and tried to change to be the person that "he" wants or "she" likes or whatever, I wouldn't be me anymore and I'd just be biding my time until they figured out who I really was and still didn't like me or want me. And the truth is, the person I am is perfectly fine and more than happy. And I'll tell you why:

I have some of the best friends in the entire world. I would walk through fire for any one of them and I am fortunate to know that the reverse is true as well.

I have an incredible family that truly puts the "fun" in dysfunctional. I'd almost rather hang out with them than anyone. (Also, my mother and I should seriously be on a reality show. We are that ridiculous. It'd be a hit!)

I have a job at a time when jobs are hard to find and I am fortunate to work for one of my best friends.

I live in a city that loves art and music and artists and musicians.

I get to sing with a group of people who have become my family and whom I love with all my heart.

I get to act in plays at a beautiful theatre with some of the funniest, most incredibly talented people ever.

I get to laugh every day.

I almost never go a day without getting a hug from someone I love.

I have gotten to know and love people from all walks of life and I have the awesome fortune to know at least one person almost everywhere I go in town, so I rarely feel totally alone.

Most of all, I have love to share and plenty of fabulous people to share it with. But, I'm always up for taking on new people to love. Feel free to apply at any time. :)

I love you.

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